{"id":814,"date":"2003-01-16T01:30:49","date_gmt":"2003-01-16T01:30:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/?p=814"},"modified":"2018-10-31T20:54:31","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T20:54:31","slug":"lord-isildurs-bane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/lord-isildurs-bane\/","title":{"rendered":"Lord Isildur&#8217;s Bane"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So, a friend linked to a brilliant, <a href=\"https:\/\/boards.straightdope.com\/sdmb\/printthread.php?t=138905&#038;pp=50&#038;page=27\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Straight Dope thread of LOTR-based pastiches\">incredibly long thread<\/a> of Lord of the Rings pastiches:<\/p>\n<p>Despite hundreds (thousands?) of posts, no one had done Stephen Donaldson! So, here&#8217;s my humble contribution (I also posted it on The Straight Dope):<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Picture Sauron speaking to the King of the Nazgul:<\/p>\n<p>Over his silence, the voice continued, &#8220;Isildur was a fool&mdash;fey, anile, and gutless. They are all fools. Look you, ringbearer. The mighty High Lord Isildur, son of Elendil and great-grandson of Beren Elf-Spouse whom I hate, stood where you now kneel, and he thought to destroy me. He discovered my designs, recognized some measure of my true stature&mdash;though the Numenoreans had set me on their right side in the Council for long years without sensing their peril&mdash;saw at the last who I was. Then there was war between us, war that blasted Middle Earth and threatened Gondor itself. The feller fist was mine and he knew it. When his armies faltered and his power waned, he sheared off my finger which bore the Ring, but became mine in thrall to it. He thought that he might use that power. Therefore he drowned in the river from which Smeagol&#8217;s friend drew the ring&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Say to the Council of Elrond, and to High Lord Elrond son of Earendil, that the uttermost limit of their span of days upon Middle Earth is seven times seven years from this present time. Before the end of those days are numbered, I will have the command of life and death on my hand. And as a token that what I say is the one word of truth, tell them this: Frodo Baggins, Halfing of the Shire, has the One Ring, and it is a cause for terror&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share this:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-facebook\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-facebook-814\" class=\"share-facebook sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/lord-isildurs-bane\/?share=facebook\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Facebook\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-linkedin\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-linkedin-814\" class=\"share-linkedin sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/lord-isildurs-bane\/?share=linkedin\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on LinkedIn\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-814\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/lord-isildurs-bane\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Twitter\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, a friend linked to a brilliant, incredibly long thread of Lord of the Rings pastiches: Despite hundreds (thousands?) of posts, no one had done Stephen Donaldson! So, here&#8217;s my humble contribution (I also posted it on The Straight Dope): Picture Sauron speaking to the King of the Nazgul: Over his silence, the voice continued,&hellip;<\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share this:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-facebook\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-facebook-814\" class=\"share-facebook sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/lord-isildurs-bane\/?share=facebook\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Facebook\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-linkedin\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-linkedin-814\" class=\"share-linkedin sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/lord-isildurs-bane\/?share=linkedin\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on LinkedIn\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-814\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/lord-isildurs-bane\/?share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Twitter\" ><span><\/span><span class=\"sharing-screen-reader-text\">Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[14,103],"tags":[117,116,53],"class_list":["post-814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun","category-writing","tag-lotr","tag-pastiche","tag-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9aciW-d8","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":867,"url":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/the-return-of-the-king-a-tolkien-fans-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":814,"position":0},"title":"The Return of the King: a Tolkien fan&#8217;s review","date":"December 21, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"A [as a story by Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, and Philippa Boyens] C+ [as a story by J.R.R. Tolkien] The Two Viewers This time, I didn't go to the midnight opening (I did for The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers). I went to a matin\u00e9e yesterday with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;writing&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":733,"url":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/ux-collective-published-my-article\/","url_meta":{"origin":814,"position":1},"title":"UX Collective published my article!","date":"September 26, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Even better, they tweeted it! Screen capture, UX Collective's tweet. See the article on UX Collective (or here).","rel":"","context":"In &quot;design&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":395,"url":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/the-writers-vow-of-chastity\/","url_meta":{"origin":814,"position":2},"title":"Habitual creativity: The writer&#8217;s vow of chastity","date":"March 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"At SXSW I had the pleasure of sitting in on Andy Barr's and Sarada Peri's 37 Practical Tips to Help You Write & Speak Better. Much of these focused on simplicity of grammar and content, and reminded me of the writer's vow of chastity my husband conceived back in 2007.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;inspiration&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":816,"url":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/the-panther-rilke\/","url_meta":{"origin":814,"position":3},"title":"The Panther, Rilke","date":"January 21, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"One of my all-time favorites. This German-to-English translation was written by my beloved, Bart Odom: The Panther From going through the bars, his gaze has become so exhausted that it holds nothing anymore. To him it is as if there are a thousand bars, and beyond the thousand bars, no\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;writing&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":809,"url":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/why-blog\/","url_meta":{"origin":814,"position":4},"title":"Why blog?","date":"January 15, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"So, I tell my beloved I've become a user on LiveJournal, and he doesn't get the appeal. It seems too much like a vanity project. Now, this is the man who normally is the first to \"get\" anything about me, so I started thinking. At the risk of rationalizing my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;psychology&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6,"url":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/nouns-and-verbs\/","url_meta":{"origin":814,"position":5},"title":"Content strategy: nouns and verbs","date":"March 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"One of the first things I did for Kinnser Software was begin to establish content strategy guidelines, and this was the first one. It was published in the Kinnser UX blog I started and maintained, as well as the living (coded) style guide I created. When writing for headers, buttons,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;design&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/814","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=814"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/814\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":815,"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/814\/revisions\/815"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aeoneal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}